Three
days after Her Fairy Godmother's
Funeral,
Prince Charming confessed
To
Cinderella that he greatly enjoyed
Trying
on her dresses while she was out
Sipping
Cosmopolitans with Snow White.
It
was the same night that Snow White
Admitted
that she was actually quite a whore
Living
with seven small men with
Very
large feet. "Bashful wasn't so bashful
In
the bedroom if you know what I mean,
And
you'll never guess what Doc
Really
was a Doctor of..."
The
two of them crossed their legs at the bar,
Slamming
shots of slippery nipples
Out
of beakers. They giggled and teased
Far
past midnight until the pumpkin
Flavored
sun lumbered up in the East
Rella
caught a cab back to her North
Shore
Suburban apartment only to stumble
Inside
and find Prince Charming wearing
One
of her hot pink girdles around his
Head.
Her Hollywood Naughty girl garter
'Mesh lynx coated corset Rella received
On
her Bachelorette Party from Rupunzel pinned
To
his hairless chest. A burgundy hyphen
Cover
Girl's finest tinged his lips satin.
His
visage was tilted like a White Trash
Christmas
tree, dappled blotches of mascara
Reflecting
dual ponds of azure Coated lids;
Elliptical
planetary eyeliner gone awry.
"I
think this could really save our marriage, honey”
The
prince admitted stretching up one of his wife's
Inky-laced
stockings far past his kneecap, clacking
His
heels together, keeping his elbows angled
Into
his waist as he effeminately
Gesticulated
with both palms.
"I
never told you but long before I ever indented
My
ankle and swooped down on one knee,
I
doffed my Addidas and tried the glass slipper
On
myself and, guess what? It fit perfectly!
I
then realized that I should have proposed to me!
PC
declared, much to Rella's dismay.
"I'm
not quite sure how to take all of this PC,"
Rella
said, gnawing on her tongue.
She
remembered how once, three months
Into
their marriage, she e-mailed her fairy godmother
Who
also knew a thing or two about the flickerin’
Magic
inside the bedroom.
"My
Prince won't come or else he comes
Too
soon!" She typed via Instant Messenger.
"He
fucks me once and then roles over
Frisking
his fingers across the
lamp
stand fishing for the remote control.
Please
help me!" She cried. "My darling
Dear,"
The Fairy Godmother replied.
"Your
marriage is simply in that period
Between
Happily Ever After and the
Neighborhood
of Make Believe.
I
remember when Never-Never Land
Banished
Peter Pan because he traded in
His
Pixie-dust for a PhD and pocket watch.
"My
darling dear, you simply cannot
Remember
How Once Upon A Time
You
were quite content sweeping flecks
Of
dust. I should have shoved that broom
Up
your ass you whined so much about
How
you never looked like anybody else.
You
whined incessantly about finding a
Soul-mate
in an age where no one has a
Soul
nor do they mate for very long.
You
groused and bitched until one night I took
A
piss in the Pumpkin patch and forwarded
You
online Directions to the Fairy Tale Gala.
"Here,"
said Fairy Godmother handing
The
wand to Cinderella across the computer screen.
"Are
you going to turn him into my Sex slave?"
Cinderella
proclaimed, clasping her hands together
In
lascivious prayer. "Oh Heavens, no!"
Replied
her Fairy Godmother.
"There
are other wands reserved for that, my dear.
Take
this into the bedroom and watch what happens."
Cinderella
logged off without thanking
Her
mentor and later on that night while PC swigged
His
Zima and popped three Zoloft, yawning in the opposite
Direction
of his wife, Cinderella, intent on licking
Her
nuptial twin with sin, brandished a V-tailed conductor's
Rhetoric,
tapped the wand on Prince Charming's thick brawn
Shoulder
blade three times. "Is that your Wand or are you just
Happy
to see me?" He exclaimed. Then all was well until
Gradually
the tip of the wand abraded, whittling into minute
particles
of scattered fairy tale dust.
PC
began to take more interest in the outfits
Cinderella
unzipped on the far end of the futon
Before
she buckled her limbs around him.
When
PC began to yell out the names of different outfits
Cinderella
owned, she intuited it to signify
A
positive result of unabashed Male coitus,
Until
the abscessed-tipped wand gave the Prince
A
diaper rash. "This all must stop right Now," PC Declared
(he
was sensitive down there).
That
was two years ago and now Cinderella
Stands
looking at PC, mouth aghast;
Her
Fairy Godmother charred into cindery ashes.
In
accordance to the will her remnants are to be scattered
Over
the Pumpkin patch. "When did our marriage
Turn
into the Ice Age?" Rella muses aloud, wondering
How
Prince Charming managed to make his package
Look
so small behind her translucent thong.
"We're
supposed to be an indelible role model
For
aspiring couples everywhere.
Everything
was supposed to be perfect!"
"Maybe
it still is, honey." PC says tapering an ash
From
his Virginia Slim. "I'm having trouble
Double-knotting
your corset, but maybe
If we
both hold each other just long enough
With
the lights out it will resemble the stars
That
night when first we met and I danced with you
Because
I noticed that eventually, if I stared down
Long
enough into the reflective tips of your glass
Sling
back slippers, I could make out the color
Of
your underwear and eventually, if I gazed up just
A
little bit longer, I would be able to make out the color of you.
"Eventually
you made your way up to my eyes."
Rella
said, sobbing a tear with a balled up Kleenex while
PC,
who was now tall, dark, handsome and flaming,
Contorted
two metal hangers into tiaras, placing them each
Like
a laurel's nest atop their respected Foreheads.
"I
don't plan on lowering my vision anytime soon."
Says
the newly christened Princess, rubbing a lipstick
Smudge
off his front tooth before dimming the lights
Reeling
Rella into his ersatz bosom.
"I think everything is going
to be alright."
DVB04
No comments:
Post a Comment