Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Recipe for Dragon Stew (help!!!!!!!!)

First step in killing the dragon--get organized! Find a set time for work (H.W.) Writing...keep your room clean, go through old clothes. Return mounds of library books. Throw away lighters. Serious consider the amount of caffeine you ingest on any given day as being lethal (esp. if you're a pygmy). Make your bed everymorning. Quit clicking on ex-girlfriends blogg every two seconds to see who she's currently banging. Realize that you live with a very nice old man who has helped you out. Realize that you don't want to live there forever. Send out manuscripts more faithfully. Send your mother a valentine card. Don't sleep with girls you hardly know just to feel better about yer'self. Apply for auto insurance. Try to do laundry more than twice a semester. Budget!!!!!! Think about giving up caffeine and alcohol for lent (last year I gave up chastity and sobriety)...Smile at everyone you meet. Hold doors open for females. Be polite. Quit talking about yourself so much--focus more on the other person. Don't be Bette Midler, where in an interview she once said "Enough about me--what do you think about me?"

Be careful how many times you use the F word in public. Wash your hands. Be open minded. Make everyone around you feel like they're golden, even those f'ing Indian students who always seem to break the computers at work. Live your dreams. Most importantly recognize that place where you have come from no longer exists. Quit reminiscing about the past. Realize that you're a different person now. That you're always growing, evolving and that this Lizard silhouette is sometimes just a part of us that is comfortable and doesn't want to grow....most importantly smile. I read somewhere once that you burn just as much calories smiling and laughing as you do while having sex.

Laugh. Pull petty pranks. Tell your girlfriend she's beautiful. Be devout in your routine. Push-ups and situps before bedtime. Run around with the little kids. Realize that NO matter how bad you think your life is, you live in a country that has it better off than 98% of the globe. You've had your sanitized water. You've wiped your ass with something soft before flushing. Quit bitching so much.

Learn to be. Act spontaneously. Know what you want. Put the ball in the hoop. Don't be afriad to lead the life you feel that you were meant to live.

4 comments:

David Von Behren said...

Please add to the recipe:

porcelain said...

Take in animals that need homes. Volenteer your time to help old people, especially alziemers patients. Buy yourself something nice, just because. Tell everyone you know that you love them, because you might never see them again. Talk to the person you're scared will turn you down. Hug people. Take a class that will challange you to do well. Dress nice for yourself. Learn to change your own oil...

David Von Behren said...

yes!!!! more recipes!!! I feel like Julia child!

porcelain said...

Kiss with your eyes open. Be honest about your feelings. Don't lead people on. Respect your elders. Take your dog on more walks. Learn to play an instrument. Find something to be passionate about. Share. Snuggle often. :) Find something unusual about a person to love, something no one else has ever loved them for. Clean your room.