All semester long there was Maggie; the fair skinned doe-eyed wild irish haired lass who sits next to me in irascible Doctor Gorin Soc for inane masochists. All semester long there was her--the beautiful fair-foreheaded goddess (she's like, twenty times more intelligent than I am!). Maggie who said the word 'Quarks' the first day of class. Maggie who dreams of taking her father to Ireland before he dies. Maggie who looks like a snow angel when she blushes, the folds of her smile creasing into the avenue of her lips; Maggie who loves the same state Park I trek to every season for spiritual nourishiment. Maggie whose favorite book is Jane Eyre which, after hearing her tithed confession (shhhh! don't tell her) I read for the first time. Maggie who gave me her phone number and then disappeared for a week and then wanted nothing to do with me. Maggie who either looks at me like she is totally in love or like she just miscarried every time we chat. Maggie who looks sexy in her spectacles. Maggie who inexplicably removed me from her facebook. Maggie who quite possibly, was the creative catalyst behind the best short story I have ever written (ibid see 'The Sail' publication pending and Miss Schutz, if you ever read this, that story belongs to you, so SMILE!) which is saying alot because I fucking write all the time, Maggie who I told my sister all about when I was drunk during the Illinois game. Maggie who I freaked out over because after I met her I felt that we had some weird connection. Maggie who works as a check out girl in ghetto Sav-a-lot of all fucking places. Maggie whose eyes look like lunar satellites every time they blink above the gentle pasture of her prominent cheekbones. Maggie who, I really believe this, is going to rock the world someday--a young woman who says so much simply by staring into the constellation of your forehead and offering the world a terse grin.
All semester long there was Maggie. The joy, the horrible awkwardness, the initial shock when I groped her pallid limb inside Jesters coffee and she said that she was in no particular hurry to get back to her dorm.
All semester long there was Maggie, beautiful, brilliant, wild-eyed erudite Maggie.
And tonight there was someone else.
And there were kisses, beautiful sweet kisses, the dew of spring, the awakenning of youth, the moment of oneness, feeling her body ache in the dark and wondering where she has been all this time.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Thursday, April 28, 2005
In this way we are wise
Butt-ass exhausted. Working all the F**king time. I get off work at six am, get a few hours rest, clock back on at nine am, work on and off until 3, come in tomorrow at four, work til midnight, take a three hour hiatus, back on at noon saturday...all just tryin' to get a lil' bread in my jar......
wish I had a warm body to hold....
wish I had a warm body to hold....
Saturday, April 16, 2005
He who knows not how to hide....
...knows not how to love, so the adage goes. Went through four discrete drafts of my novel today, sifting through 1500 pages, four years of slapping shapes and milking metaphores. I'm exhausted. Twelve hour work day which because of pay crunches, I'm only paid for eight and a half.....
Brilliant writing buddy of mine found my blogg. He asked to remain faceless. Here's what he had to say:
Sir David--
Did something I've been meaning to do since NewYears. Recall our conversation with Dr.______,bedfellow of ____ the Plum Persian. Doctor insisted, rather insistently, that Kurt Vonnegut had recently checked out. You and I looked askance. Surely such news would have come to our attention. No, no, saidDoc, a bit dismissively, he's smoked. Are you sure you're not over extending your grasp Doctor? I mean,look, a guy needs a rubber glove in the ass and I'm sure you're just the man for the job. But perhaps you've strayed from your domain on this one. No, no,Kurt Vonnegut is dead, you ninnies. You are piddly writers. I am a medical doctor. You're degree is in abstraction, binge-drinking, mental masturbation. Mine is in medicine, in self-satisfaction. You two will stumble home tonight to toss off in a stack of wrinkled porn right about the time I'm mounting this plum Persian babe all knockered-up on Apple Martinis. Now, do as the good Doctor says and take yourmedicine, boys. I am right. He is dead.
Kurt Vonnegut is an 83-year old this year, and arather sprightly one at that.
Also, I checked out your blog. What a gig. It's the only blog I've ever intentionally read. Your fan base is impressive, though frankly, I'm worried, I'm worried for my life. I came upon the Dave Eggers story--well told, if you'll oblige some simpering. But oh the responses it illicited. I've heard about these blogging types. They're home-bodies,night-dwellers, tomb-raiders; they're wickens, they're patrons of dark lands with mystical powers. They take drugs, they have strange piercings. They have misinterpreted your yarn. They have bu-fooed context,and they have wished me ill-will. They have cursed me. Help me, David, please, to redeem my good standing in the universe. Tell them all that I have amended myself. Tell them of my support for your craft, my unflappable loyalty, my respect for all life and art. Tell them of my pathos, of my commingling with the needy. Tell them of my passiveness--I attended anti-war rallies in three states, albeit inadvertently. But a fine track record nonetheless. Tell them I'm a nature boy. Tell them I've sufferedfor my phone prank. And yes, tell them I have indeedheard of Karma. Tell them Karma recently visited andleft a raging case of ass herpes. I have repented.Tell them. Please. No more bad blogger Karma issued out of misconstrued context. The ass herpes hurts, somuch so I'm reduced to writing this email standing up.Bad bloggers, bad, bad bloggers.
Blogger be good, be good to me my babies. Love and peace to all of God's creatures unless you're and atheist then I love you too and good luck to the Muslims and people in India and I hope you all have enough rice for the winter and good toilets because cleanliness is next to godliness and that counts for you atheists too,
signed
??????????????
Brilliant writing buddy of mine found my blogg. He asked to remain faceless. Here's what he had to say:
Sir David--
Did something I've been meaning to do since NewYears. Recall our conversation with Dr.______,bedfellow of ____ the Plum Persian. Doctor insisted, rather insistently, that Kurt Vonnegut had recently checked out. You and I looked askance. Surely such news would have come to our attention. No, no, saidDoc, a bit dismissively, he's smoked. Are you sure you're not over extending your grasp Doctor? I mean,look, a guy needs a rubber glove in the ass and I'm sure you're just the man for the job. But perhaps you've strayed from your domain on this one. No, no,Kurt Vonnegut is dead, you ninnies. You are piddly writers. I am a medical doctor. You're degree is in abstraction, binge-drinking, mental masturbation. Mine is in medicine, in self-satisfaction. You two will stumble home tonight to toss off in a stack of wrinkled porn right about the time I'm mounting this plum Persian babe all knockered-up on Apple Martinis. Now, do as the good Doctor says and take yourmedicine, boys. I am right. He is dead.
Kurt Vonnegut is an 83-year old this year, and arather sprightly one at that.
Also, I checked out your blog. What a gig. It's the only blog I've ever intentionally read. Your fan base is impressive, though frankly, I'm worried, I'm worried for my life. I came upon the Dave Eggers story--well told, if you'll oblige some simpering. But oh the responses it illicited. I've heard about these blogging types. They're home-bodies,night-dwellers, tomb-raiders; they're wickens, they're patrons of dark lands with mystical powers. They take drugs, they have strange piercings. They have misinterpreted your yarn. They have bu-fooed context,and they have wished me ill-will. They have cursed me. Help me, David, please, to redeem my good standing in the universe. Tell them all that I have amended myself. Tell them of my support for your craft, my unflappable loyalty, my respect for all life and art. Tell them of my pathos, of my commingling with the needy. Tell them of my passiveness--I attended anti-war rallies in three states, albeit inadvertently. But a fine track record nonetheless. Tell them I'm a nature boy. Tell them I've sufferedfor my phone prank. And yes, tell them I have indeedheard of Karma. Tell them Karma recently visited andleft a raging case of ass herpes. I have repented.Tell them. Please. No more bad blogger Karma issued out of misconstrued context. The ass herpes hurts, somuch so I'm reduced to writing this email standing up.Bad bloggers, bad, bad bloggers.
Blogger be good, be good to me my babies. Love and peace to all of God's creatures unless you're and atheist then I love you too and good luck to the Muslims and people in India and I hope you all have enough rice for the winter and good toilets because cleanliness is next to godliness and that counts for you atheists too,
signed
??????????????
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Blog Fog
What's been goin on...
* Month of March: In like a Lion, out with a hangover.
*New Wheels--No insurance, no problem.
* Who left the thong on my desk in the library???? (very funny guys! Hahaha. Aprils fool!)
* Found out that b/c I pay so much for school I'm eligible for Food stamps (What!?! I work ALL the time!!!!!!!!)
*Tryin' to be cognizant about my health without making myself and everyone around me feel like a total uptight anal wad.
* All I want to do is sit on my ass and write all the time!
* Biggest graduation party known to mankind planned end of May. It's for myself and my sister whose graduating from law school. My Uncle just splurged on this halycon patch of Illinois soil so the party will entail camp out and keg, requisite late spring bon fire, solitude, fishing canoeing....ahhhhhh!!!!
* Told my prof. that I'd have a copy of my 700 page novel finished and buffed by MAY 13th!!!!
*Biggest Lit-week on campus--two writers, release of new journal (I have three pieces!!!) followed by poetry reading and awards banquet. In a conciliatory gesture, I invited moma bear to awards banquet.
*Go Illini! Wait....
Exam from Hell on monday morning. It's a soc. 100 class but the prof. is driving us all nucking futs. see here: http://www.ratemyprofessor.com/ShowRatings.jsp?tid=95003
* It's spring which means I'm in love....
* Month of March: In like a Lion, out with a hangover.
*New Wheels--No insurance, no problem.
* Who left the thong on my desk in the library???? (very funny guys! Hahaha. Aprils fool!)
* Found out that b/c I pay so much for school I'm eligible for Food stamps (What!?! I work ALL the time!!!!!!!!)
*Tryin' to be cognizant about my health without making myself and everyone around me feel like a total uptight anal wad.
* All I want to do is sit on my ass and write all the time!
* Biggest graduation party known to mankind planned end of May. It's for myself and my sister whose graduating from law school. My Uncle just splurged on this halycon patch of Illinois soil so the party will entail camp out and keg, requisite late spring bon fire, solitude, fishing canoeing....ahhhhhh!!!!
* Told my prof. that I'd have a copy of my 700 page novel finished and buffed by MAY 13th!!!!
*Biggest Lit-week on campus--two writers, release of new journal (I have three pieces!!!) followed by poetry reading and awards banquet. In a conciliatory gesture, I invited moma bear to awards banquet.
*Go Illini! Wait....
Exam from Hell on monday morning. It's a soc. 100 class but the prof. is driving us all nucking futs. see here: http://www.ratemyprofessor.com/ShowRatings.jsp?tid=95003
* It's spring which means I'm in love....
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