Wednesday, June 29, 2005

All is fair in blogg and war...

Here's a filched e-mail I received last week from an (ex-ex-ex) girlfriend ( 8 years ago) whose semi-elusive face occasionally blurs its way back into my blogg. I figure it's only fair to let her have her say in cyberspace. Enclosed is the letter she sent me and my response. I'd love to hear what my devout fellow bloggsters think about this one. For her privacy sake, I'll omit her name, and for confessionalists sake--yeah, I was prety much an asshole:

David,
Googled my name (as everyone must do once in a while), and came across your "musings." I saw "Infinite Jest" on the clearance rack at Borders the other day and thought of you. I'm sorry to hear about your dad.

Things here are going wonderfully. Chad and I have been married 4 years (and believe me, I am equally glad it wasn't you in the picture with my wedding dress), and we have an amazingly beautiful 7 month old son named Griffin, who I take care of full-time. My life is just as I hoped it would be, and I don't think everyone can say that, so I consider it a success.

I have to say, I felt kind of violated when your blog came up with my full name in it. I guess you can just post whatever you want about someone else, but it's still kind of invasive. And I think you took a bit of poetic license.

I hope your life is on track and things work out for you as you wish. In spite of how poorly you treated me, I made my peace with you a long time ago, and know that a lot of that came from how unhappy you were. Hopefully you are happier now. Oh, and by the way, I "know words" not because of who my uncle is, but because of that 800 on my SAT verbal :)

***

Mrs. ________!

Wow!!!! Glad to hear your life is fabulous!!!!! I actually almost accumulated the gall to dig up your digits and phone you up threeyears ago the night Duke lost to Indiana in the sweet 16! I thought itwas rather ironic and all...you living in Indiaina and being such a Die-hard coach K fanatic.

Congrats on your marraige and newborn!!!! (didn't you plan on naming your first born Christopher? Chris Collins will be dismayed.)

Sounds like you did some serious cyber-splunkering to locate my blogg. After I received your letter I did numerous google searches on your name and nothing came up. Hell, if you type in my name into the vacant googolized horizon the address for my blogg doesn't even come up, so lord knows how you managed to unearth it.

Life here is good. I just got hired on as faculty at the cullom-davis library. I sold my first short story last October and just completed awhopping 700 page single spaced page manuscript which took me fouryears to scribble. The novel is titled YELLOW MONKEY BARS & UNBIDDENERECTIONS: A FAILED CAMPAIGN. The protagonist name is a lad called BUSTER HIGHMAN. He's a portly, bavarian flatulant artist and who can't get laid for the life of him. I seriously doubt if the novel will eversee the light of day, but who knows.

Sorry if you took offense to anything that was written. I sort of use blogger as a verbal batting cage--a place to bash around thoughts before I go down on MS WORD for nine hours a night. Blogging's a great method to blow some steam, reminisce or simply feel creative.

Time to go. Looks like we both inherited the beautiful lives we were meant to lead.

All the best, ____, and let the beauty you love be what you do....
David Von Behren",1]

1 comment:

daku said...

ya david you should not be putting people's full names on your blog... nor their emails, i'd say. but all in all, she could have given you a bloodier bashing, so i would not call it a war. check out what real war looks like:
http://sscream.blogspot.com/2005/07/battle-of-middle-earth.html
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