Sibling Default

The coolest thing about my little sis' Jenn doing Miss Illinois is that if she wins, not only does she get to go to Miss America but she also gets a brand new car to ferry her royal rump around the state for palatial engagements which means, by degree of sibling default, I get Jenn's 1989 Buick Lesabre which runs like a stag and only has 90,000 miles on it!!! No more hoofing everywhere.

My station wagon 'shed the mechanical garment' shortly after I moved in with Uncle Mike and in a way I kinda miss it (even though the rearview mirror wouldn't stick to the windshield--so it just swayed back and forth like a fresh suicide when I was wobbling down the interstate)....Not having a car can be a blessing. Insurance is a bitch for one. Gas is riddiculous. Plus every time I get a new set of wheels all I ever do is drive around the countryside to unwind. I love hilly-country backroads and (thank you Vanessa and Margot) have a HUGE 'Little Women' predilection when it comes to dating. Something about meeting very intelligent females in remote little country towns where Casey's gas station serves as the social hub makes me feel like I'm dating Louisa May Alcott. Plus there's nothing like driving around with someone whom you love and chasing the sleek-purple chinese-kite tendrils of the sunset. Nothing beats that feeling. Thermos of coffee, lavender jet stream sunset, killer tune on the radio, and of course, a beautiful girl to hold beneath that blanket when the stars dot their smile across the noctural sheet.

Few crickets orchestrating in the background. Slight breeze zipping in the sidewindow. The scent of Summer in America. And of course, eddie vedder ululating "untitled" in the background:


I got a car, I got some gas
oh let's get out of here
get out of here fast
ooh everyone's confused
so I stay in my room
if I go, I don't want
to go alone

I hope you get this message
oh you're not home
I could be there in
ten minutes or so
ooh I got my things
we'll make it up as we go along
oh with you I could
never be alone
never be alone

So there we have it. Sibling default. Jenn win so I can get that car and find that girl.

Beth started doing pageants back in 2000. We all thought it was really chessey but she's raked in a ton of cash. It went to her head the first couple of years. I think she sat on her scepter because every time she opened her mouth she sounded like a stuck-up drag Queen. Oh well, she got a free ride into law school. She's a hard worker ( i still hate looking at my sisters in swimsuits, though....)

Also, how cool is this, since I'll be in Chicago Saturday night, I get to attend my first House of Worship devotions Sunday Morning!!!! Totally cool!! Plus I get to stop and see my best-friend John. John and I have a weird connection. Our birthday's are both July sixth (although I'm five years older), our mothers are both named Linda (I always flirt with his mom--she's single and hot and that aggrieves him to no end) we both wore thick glasses that looked like old television sets growing up and we're both major sports nreds!!!!!

Johns cool! We worked the late-night 11pm to 3 am shift at the library together. We even had a mock-radio type-of-show called the DAVE and JOHN show where it was always Happy Hour even when everyone else is asleep. Lots of crazy humor! Next to writing childrens books and compelling young minds to adopt a life in the arts, I think humor writing is important-more important than stuffy 'literary' stuff. We take our lives too seriously sometimes. We take our professions too seriously. John reminds me of this.The funniest thing he ever did was to fart in the PA system during finals. His flatulence echoed throughout the thick shelves of the library, and Barb, my 72 year old sweet-as-can be co-worker, thought it was her and excused herself!

Ok, no more pull-my-finger flatulence. Beautiful ladies and no-name eunuch's present.


Narrative interruption

(Shit!!! My Boss just came back and we had to fill out an 'incidence report' form concerning the previous-blogs theft. He seemed just a tad pissed that I abandoned my post even though I got the license plate number. "Don't be Captain America," is what he said.

EXCUSE ME!!!

The patron who was robbed was so thrilled she nearly gave me a gratitude hickie on the spot! My Boss is new and he's trying to impress people (he's also bald and his name is Skip--you know what they say, 'Everybody loves a bald man named Skippy!"--and where was my boss when all this dramam was transpiring? He was out to lunch!!!

I hate corperate america! Funny-you get an MBA and you go back into the crib and incessantly whine about not having the latest 'toy'-- although you're wearing a bussiness suit and hiding your dreams in a coach briefcase.

Oh well. Corporate American intigates professional loneliness on a capitalist caliber and that's where art comes in. Even if it's a CEO who buys a motorcycle becasue he just read "ZEn and the art of Motorcycle maintenace" or the latest Vice President taking an interest in contemporary art and sounding 'snobby' about it at cocktail parties. Secretly, the CEO yearns for such freedom and you know what, you can't have it (SKIP, and every other boss I've ever had) You've already sold out.

I'm so pissed I could just fart in the PA system. Maybe that will deflate the tangible rifts hanging like musical whole notes around here.