Tuesday, June 08, 2004

So you think you can love me and spit in my eye

Devastating morning. Feels like my tea cup heart has been inadvertantly dropped while being juggled by a midget or something. Just came back from emptying my e-mail account and I received that perfunctory reply from Swissy-Missy with the sentence, "random trips to Peoria to visit my sister and my boyfriend" sliced in the middle of a paragraph. Nothing is worse in a relationship than being the 'other' guy. God I hate this feeling.

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Remember that scene from the first Rocky where his ring manager tells Rock-o to quit sleeping with Adrianne b/c "Women weaken legs!" Perhaps that's true with writers, "Women weaken prose!" Having a hard time reaching that bloggin' " end-zone" inside me this morning. And of course, I know inside that all I have to do is suck it up, throw a few punches and get back inside that ring and finish the bout.

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Woke up this morning thinking about zookeepers adage which purportedly states that "cage any given homogenus species of the opposing sex for long enough and they'll eventually mate,"--Is this what college is? Is this what reality is? We're all lving in this atmospherical cage and, given close proximity, we'll eventually get it on?

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"'Cause you know there's no gender in the next world." Uncle Mike informs me last night at dinner.

"What do you mean?" I look at him.

"What's the purpose of gender." He inquires.

"Procreation." I say. He nods.

"People have a hard time envisioning this. That the soul is without a sexual preference."

I have a hard time envisioning this. That our genitals and our our innate animalistic desire to feel oneness and to create a bridge of union between genders doesn't follow us to the next world.

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Night I 'randomly' bumped into Swissy-Missy outside of One World I asked Mike why, if she wasn't interested in me or whatever, did she come on to me like she was in the first place.

"It was hormonal" He said, dismissing the matter.

"Oh," I say, looking at my elonagted shadow beneath a streetlamp.

*
If you have a life in the arts you inevitably run around with lots of people who are gay. Many of my best friends are gay and my best friend, David, and I have this long running joke that when my first wife leaves me for my sister or whatever, we're all gonna get together and have a guys night out and cry and watch a marathon viewing of LORD OF THE RINGS uncut for twelve hours straight and right at the apex of the film; right at the moment when Frodo finally free's himself of his fettered fire-hydrant-sized ego and chucks his ring into the lava of Mt. Doom I'll finally have the balls to remove my own wedding oval and chuck it into the mechanical gnaw of the garbage disposal and all my gay friends would formally applaud and address me as 'honey' and toast Zima and tell me that I could do better and she was really a bitch and then tell me that they secretly made bets before the wedding about how long my supposed nuptial rapport would last.

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I hate sound sounding sooooooo sullen.

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There's a story I heard about Abdul-baha's parrot. Apaprently if you would poke his parrot it would only say one thing.

"Be happy!" The parrot would peep.

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Ah, shit, nothin' like feeling heartbroken!!!!!

3 comments:

daku said...

Man, you're hillarious (i.e. the parrot thing is). Nothing like being irreverent every now and then. You can't take yourself too seriously.
I've had my share of crap in recent days. I only try to put the nice and bright things in the blog - so it somewhat skews the perspective. But what has helped me was the mystic attitude... I don't have the right quotes on me, and am pressed for time to search the net, so I'll just paraphrase a couple - you know, to the effect that your soul is not tested unless the purpose it is to exalt it, that no soul is tested beyond what it can bear, etc. So, I'll give you what will look like a parrot type reply - there is some wisdom in it all. Laters!

arya said...

heartbreak. use it. there's latent energy in that stuff. regarding the genderless next world, this makes sense to me because this is the world of yin and yang, male and female and it makes sense that the next world is the realm of oneness. where we become complete. i think maybe universal woman and universal man unite at the uppermost gate of the stairway to heaven...

David Von Behren said...

My twin mystical bloggin' babes are so cool!!! Thanks for putting up with all my shit! My apologies for dragging out this whole Swissy-Missy ordeal out forever!
You girls are the best for listening!